There are thousands of failed poker pros trying to grind out a living and
hundreds more wanna-be pros joining their pathetic ranks every week. The
sad truth is 99% of these losers will never have a pot to piss in. Every
one of these unimaginative, brain-dead lemming is locked in a futile
struggle to earn a living in the poker world. And you plan to join their
teeming, no-talent ranks? Sad to say bucko, but you're beat before you
start.
Here's the problem. They're all trying to be *the winner* in a tidal wave
of other poker players trying to do exactly the same thing! Well not to
worry. Your pal, Irish Mike, is here to save your sorry ass from certain
failure and set you on the road to poker riches. So here it is. While
every one else is trying to fight and claw their way through the poker
m***** to be a winner, you go the other direction! You focus all your
mental, physical and psychological talents on becoming a poker loser! But
not just a typical poker loser, who loses his own money. No! You become
a
"Poker Cooler"!
Seriously! Just think about it for a minute. Did you ever see the movie,
"The Cooler"? Well it starred William Macey as a "Cooler" at a Las Vegas
casino run by Alex Baldwin. Macey played Bernie Lootz, the unluckiest guy
in Vegas. His luck was so god-awful bad that the casino paid him to "cool
off" players who were on a hot streak and winning the casino's money. Guy
is on a hot streak at the craps table - Bernie walks by the table and the
guy immediately craps out. A player is killing the roulette table -
Bernie
walks up, places a bet and "00" hits and wipes the table. He can kill a
blackjack player's winning run just by sitting down at the table.
Now imagine how a bad luck, black cat mother ****er could bust the
big-stack
player straight out of a poker tournament or a high limit cash game. A
big
name poker pro makes the final table and has a shot at a WSOP bracelet
which
he desperately needs to jump-start his dying career. But, he's worried
about this lucky amateur who has a big stack and is getting run-over by
the
deck. The pro gives you the nod. You go railbird this hot shot luck-box
and WHAM!!! Ten minutes later the amateur's luck goes south, he loses
three
river suck-outs in a row and his sorry ass is done! He's out of the
tournament and the pro, who hired you, wins the bracelet! Then the pro
gives you twenty percent of the prize money, right off the top! High
roller
fish comes in to the Bellagio for some heads-up, high stakes action with
Barry Greenstein. He hires you to come in to the high stakes room and
deliver a fake message. On your way out you accidentally touch
Greenstein.
Whoosh! Greenstein gets hit with a string of bad beats and the amateur
guts
him like a fish. Amateur gives you a hundred grand of his winnings. The
sky's the limit bucko - you'll earn more money than you can carry!
So all this time you thought you were just a no talent, no luck poker
loser - when you were really a "Poker Cooler" with a talent that will make
you rich for life!
You're Welcome,
Irish Mike
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